Let Your Freak Flag Fly

When a planet is strong in your natal chart you feel it's transitions on the collective scale more strongly. I was reminded of this once again this week, as Uranus moved back into Aries and squared the North and South Node.

These Uranian transitions aspect my chart strongly and amplifying my own powerful Uranus, which is conjunct Mercury, Jupiter and the Ascendent in the 12th house of my natal chart.

Uranus is the planet that rules diversity, ie "differences". All of those qualities and ways of being that make us feel unique and unusual. Diversity is a necessary part of life, without it the world would be a more drab, boring and barren place. But the actual reality of being different and living differently from the dominant paradigm can be painful and isolating, particularly in a culture that values homogeneity and uniformity.

I have lived with a hearing loss my entire life. I've worn hearing aids since I was six years old and I've always been surrounded and spent my time in the "hearing" culture (not necessarily by choice, but because this was how I was raised).

This reality has shaped my entire perception and way of relating to the world. Mercury, planet of perception, connection and communication is just 3 degrees away from Uranus in my chart, so my experience and way of communicating has always been unlike the majority of the people I spend time with. And while this has shaped my ability to perceive the world in a way that has allowed me to cultivate skills like astrology, spirituality and intuition, my "differentness" has also been isolating and painful.

Sometimes I feel like there is a glass wall separating me from the hearing world. People don't quite know how to relate to someone who doesn't communicate they way they do. In order to "fit in" and make other people feel more comfortable with my outside the box way of communicating (can't hear with background noise, if your back is turned to me, if you mumble or slur your words, etc, etc),  I've learned how to lip read, adapt and sometimes just pretend to minimize the extent of my strangeness. And sometimes I just get really tired of doing this. It's literally a hell of a lot of work and in order to recharge, I need ample amounts of time alone, which leaves me feeling even more different and outside the "tribe."

Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing a mask and pretending to fit in, when I really am just feeling left out. Left out of conversations, experiences and situations because I just can't hear them and the effort it would take on my part and the hearing people I am around seems too big of a gap to cross.

I'm weeks away from embarking on another effort to learn sign language, I'm reaching out to more deaf and hard of hearing people, I'm working and striving towards connection with others like me. But honestly, being different, holding that place of "diversity" in our culture is often hard, painful and a lot of work.

It's not something I can put on and take off at will, it's something I have to carry around with me all the time in a culture that especially in these times, doesn't much appreciate, value, celebrate or support those who are different than the norm. This is why I relate so strongly to others who are considered "different", marginalized or unseen and unappreciated in our culture. While often romanticized, being outside the mainstream can be a heavy, painful burden at times.

This is the hard, ugly, challenging side of the Uranian archetype: the exile, the freak, the weirdo, the strange one. This is the side that needs to be faced, looked in the mirror and embraced in order to get to the "goodies" of Uranus: the genius, the changemaker, the visionary.

As Uranus makes its final and once every 84 year cycle through the last degrees of Aries, consider how you feel different? How do you stand outside the mainstream, dance to the beat of a different drummer? Fly your freak flag high? What kind of support do you need? Who is your tribe? How do you reach out to connect and heal from the wounds of your exile?

heather vuchinichComment